As parents, we understandably want to feel more calm, patient, carefree and fun.  

But we equally, for a multitude of reasons, become frustrated, impatient and critical. 

Most parents struggle with many uncomfortable feelings at least some of the time on most, if not all, days.  There are so many unmet needs we struggle with all the time. 

We can feel exhausted, frustrated, angry, confused, worried, guilty, anxious, lonely, misunderstood, exasperated, overwhelmed or just low.  It’s normal for us to constantly crave feeling better and stress about feeling the uncomfortable feelings

Self-regulation is that super important tool, a must have tool to helps navigate parenting without loosing our cool so often.

However, it's a skill that must be learned through practice.

Self regulating means I am capable of managing my emotions. Instead of flying off the handle, yelling, slamming doors, shutting down or throwing a tantrum, I am able to work through what I am feeling.

For example, if I am feeling anxious, it helps me to name it. Oh, I’m anxious. It helps me to identify a reason, or identify there is no reason. I am anxious because of work, or, this is just general anxiety and is not related to any one thing. It helps me to go for a walk, take deep breaths, maybe call a friend.

One of the feelings I feel most often is overwhelmed. I tell myself I do not have to do everything at once, that I can do one small thing, or do something for just ten minutes.

If I am feeling disheartened I try to practice self-compassion and talk to myself with patience and kindness.

Beating myself up doesn’t work on any emotion.

Now, I’m not saying this is easy. In fact, I think it’s the most challenging thing you do in parenting. Every single parent I’ve ever spoken with has self-regulation work to do, because it’s a journey and life-long process.